Engineer Humor

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Engineer Humor

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You might be an engineer if..

...	you've tried to repair a $5 radio.
...	at an air show you know how fast the skydivers are falling.
...	you spent more on your calculator than you did on your wedding ring.

...	the sales people at the local computer store can't answer any of your questions
...	you bought your wife a new CD-ROM drive for her birthday.
...	you have saved every power cord from all your broken appliances.
...	you look forward to Christmas so you can put the kids' toys together.
...	you see a good design and still have to change it.
...	you still own a slide rule and know how to use it.
...	you window shop at Radio Shack
...	your laptop computer costs more than your car.
...	your spouse hasn't the foggiest idea of what you do at work.
...	you've already calculated how much you make per second.
...	you can't write unless the paper has both horizontal and vertical lines

A priest, a lawyer and an engineer are about to be guillotined.

The priest puts his head on the block, they pull the rope and nothing happens -- he declares that he's been saved by divine intervention -- so he's let go.

The lawyer is put on the block, and again the rope doesn't release the blade, he claims he can't be executed twice for the same crime and he is set free too.

They grab the engineer and shove his head into the guillotine, he looks up at the release mechanism and says, "Wait a minute, I see your problem......"

A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer were all given a red rubber ball and told to find the volume.

The mathematician carefully measured the diameter and evaluated a triple integral.

The physicist filled a beaker with water, put the ball in the water, and measured the total displacement.

The engineer looked up the model and serial number in his red-rubber-ball table.

What's the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?

Mechanical engineers build weapons.

Civil engineers build targets.

An astronaut in space was asked by a reporter, "How do you feel?"

"How would you feel," the astronaut replied, "if you were stuck here, on top of 20,000 parts each one supplied by the lowest bidder?"

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